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Posted by / 16-Apr-2016 18:19

This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English.

What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.

Anyway, it’s not easy for foreign men; we just have ridiculously low standards. Like I was on a date with this Japanese girl – this was a couple of years ago – and we went to a Mexican restaurant. And we were hitting it off, drinking Coronas and laughing and making flirty eyes and then out of nowhere, and bear in mind this was our first date, she asks, Things kind of degraded from there, and we never went out again.

Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.

That seemed to be the right answer, and we abandoned playing pool in favor of her apartment, which really made me regret not answering the witch question differently. Even the ones who’ll endure it seem determined to lie there like slabs of tuna and wait for you to finish.

A few months later – and okay, I know this is kind of a theme, but that’s just how things worked out – I met this girl in a bar in Shinjuku and we ended up in a love hotel. If you want a vivacious woman who takes an active role in lovemaking then, I dunno, maybe go to Brazil or something, but definitely not Japan.

It’s by no means easy being a woman, of any race, in Japan. But here, I’m only presenting the male perspective. There’s a whole flip side to this story that bears keeping in mind.

We paid the money for a room with lots of mirrors, went in, started making out on the bed, and then just as we were about to, as they say, consummate matters, she looked up at me and asked, I was like, What the hell? And you know I’m not trying to lead anybody on, but for Christ’s sake. Okay, so I haven’t dated that many Japanese women, statistically speaking.

Probably not even two percent of the population, but in general I’ve gotta say they have amazingly low sex drive, little experience in bed, and that the most exciting thing you’re likely to hear is, “” With all that, it’s surprising how many foreign guys end up with rather homely Japanese ladies. Well, if you spend enough time fishing, you’re bound to hook a boot or an old tire eventually.

But if you ask me to describe a cat or a dog, I’m gonna try to give you a realistic picture without writing an encyclopedia in the process.

So yes, I’m generalizing, and I’m sure your girlfriend/wife/co-worker/neighbor is really a wonderful person and a fabulous lover.

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Secondly, I’m by no means saying that “ Japanese women are like this.” Because, okay, some are also like “that.” So I know I’m painting with a broad brush, and naturally there are exceptions to everything.